Dyspraxia: More Depth Than Just Depth Perception

So what is Dyspraxia, you might ask? Dyspraxia also known as Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) is a condition that affects around 1 in 20 people (myself included), and as it is a hidden condition, it can often go unnoticed or ignored by others. 

Whilst Dyspraxia is typically first noticed, and occasionally helped, in school it is often wrongly believed by many that people “grow out of it”, and therefore help in adulthood is rarely available. Dyspraxia comes under the neurodiversity umbrella, as individuals with Dyspraxia experience a range of differences in individual brain function compared to their neurotypical peers. This means that for somebody with Dyspraxia, their experience of the world can be different, and at times more difficult. So, what does this mean for you or someone you know who has received a diagnosis of Dyspraxia, and what does Dyspraxia actually look like? This could be a recent diagnosis or one from childhood that has gone unexplored until now, either way, let's find out what day-to-day life with dyspraxia might look like, and what can help.

One of the big struggles with Dyspraxia is that even when noticed, a lot of the symptoms can go unrecognized. This can be exacerbated by its many different names; Developmental Coordination Disorder, or as people born before the millennium might know it as, "clumsy child syndrome", a thankfully now outdated name. One of the problems with these names is that they only focus on the difficulties with movement and fine motor skills, and not the many other complexities that the condition presents. That being said, I am not going to underplay the struggle that problems with movement and fine motor skills can cause, but I would also like to draw attention to the hidden depths of these struggles and other difficulties that can go unacknowledged for those with Dyspraxia. I have met many people who did not know their diagnosis went beyond movement due to the conditions given names. This is something I experienced myself, always thinking that as I was not all that clumsy, it must not really impact me. It wasn’t until I was in my early thirties that I learned that there was more depth to dyspraxia beyond coordination difficulties. So let's scratch the surface of the Dyspraxia experience, with a particular focus on social situations, as this is a large and important part of being human.

Struggles with movement and fine motor skills on the surface might feel simple to understand, you might see people with Dyspraxia having poor hand-eye coordination, appearing clumsy bumping into objects or even people, and if you pay close attention you might spot the finer motor struggles such as writing, or closer yet talking. Almost everything that our body does uses muscle movement of some kind, so when muscle control becomes difficult, life can become difficult. However, what is rarely clear to people on the outside is the mental strain and changes to life that accompany such difficulties. This might come in the form of avoiding an unfamiliar task, or team activities, as a means of avoiding looking “different” as you learn the movements. Trouble with speaking goes beyond just forming words, it can also impact pitch, volume, and rate of speech, resulting in similar struggles and avoidance in social situations. Beyond motor skills we have difficulties around senses, this includes oversensitivity to light, sounds, and touch. Examples of how this may affect someone’s day-to-day life could include trouble filtering sounds in busy environments, making it difficult to follow group conversations, or unexpected touches, and/or uncomfortable textures causing flinching or jumping. All this is not to suggest that those who have Dyspraxia are not social, or dislike social situations, it is to highlight that many may find themselves drained and exhausted much quicker in these situations than others.

This additional energy drain, or the adjustments used to avoid feeling different, can impact how we socialize. This can compound over time, and it can be difficult to realize that the reason you avoid certain situations or tasks may be due to Dyspraxia. Instead, we often convince ourselves that we do not like doing something or that we are bad at a certain task, and therefore do not allow ourselves the opportunity to try and fail enough to become good at it. Over time this can shape our lives, our hobbies, and our relationships. It can impact what jobs we apply for, and what career paths we follow. The way in which Dyspraxia impacts individual people can be complex, and be difficult to notice unless you take the time to stop and explore how it has impacted you.

Whilst each aspect of Dyspraxia mentioned here has its own depth and complexity to explore, I hope I have done a good job highlighting that there is more to Dyspraxia than there might initially seem. Scratching beneath the surface of any diagnosis can highlight the complexities that are often overlooked, and Dyspraxia is no different. 

How Counselling Can Help:

Aside from the normal benefits of counselling, which provides a private space where you will be supported, valued, and listened to about anything that is bothering you, or you are struggling with, counselling can be an important form of support for those with Dyspraxia. However, I would like to add that you should never have to educate your counsellor on your condition. As a counsellor, I would ask how the condition impacts you, to better understand your personal experience, but, as the client, it is not your job to explain what the condition is as a whole. I would strongly suggest finding a counsellor who is aware of Dyspraxia, or better yet a counsellor who has experience working with clients under the neurodiverse umbrella in general. Ultimately, find somebody who you feel safe and supported with, and where you can talk openly and not feel judged for your feelings.

When it comes to counselling with a focus on Dyspraxia, it can be an excellent space to talk about struggles or difficulties that others might not experience or are often ignored or overlooked. It can be really valuable to be able to talk about something such as the stress of starting a new job and be supported in the feelings and struggles that such a task might present, without being made to feel that you are stupid for struggling with something others might not struggle with. The same goes for all aspects of Dyspraxia mentioned above. Having a supportive space to feel and process what is often ignored or pushed to the side is so valuable and important as it allows us to let some of the pressure that has built up over days, weeks, or even years. It is an opportunity to understand how something like Dyspraxia has impacted your life, a space to unpick how it has shaped you, and maybe even an opportunity to understand better the person you are when you strip back the mask used to hide struggles from others.

In addition to that, counselling can be a great place to talk through strategies for managing, be that day-to-day tasks or something new or big that is coming up. Being able to voice plans, and think about them with another person who is supportive, and will not just tell you how they think it should be done, can be a real advantage in the planning process, and can therefore help to make similar future plans go more smoothly.

Lastly, and what I feel is the most important role that counselling can play for somebody with Dyspraxia, is that of self-acceptance. A huge impact that Dyspraxia, and neurodivergence as a whole, can have on an individual's life is that of masking and “fitting in”. Hiding your difficulties, struggles, and often passions and interests that do not fit the “norm” can really put pressure on how you see yourself, and how you feel you fit into the wider world. Counselling can provide a space to explore who you are when you are being you, and who you are when you embrace what makes you happy without ignoring what makes life hard. Acceptance of ourselves can be difficult, and that difficulty is increased when we feel the need in everyday life to hide so much of ourselves. Counselling provides that non-judgemental space to just be you, and for many to unpick all those aspects of self that are there to keep others happy, or hide our struggles.

Learning More:

This article can only really scratch the surface of something as complex as Dyspraxia, but hopefully, it has helped to expand your understanding of dyspraxia, and maybe even yourself or somebody you know, and highlighted how counselling and support and help.

If you are looking to learn more, I can highly recommend the Dyspraxia Foundation for more information and links to further resources. For more on living with dyspraxia as an adult, I can recommend reading “Living with Dyspraxia” by Mary Colley.